Go Blue (or any other color but green)!
First of all, let me apologize for the big period of downtime between my last article and this one. The life of a college student is fraught with danger, after all, and I’m a pretty dangerous guy to begin with (i.e. a guy with way too many forty page papers to write). So anyway, let’s get down to business.
I’ll be perfectly honest here… I can’t stand the “go green” movement. While I respect those who are truly concerned with the environment, I really couldn’t care less about having my disposable coffee cups made of leaky “100% organic” material. I drink bottled water, and I throw the empty bottles in the trash, completely guilt-free.
As many of you know, I’m a big fan of automobiles – and I mean real cars, not cheap Korean tanks that get thirty miles to the gallon. Whether it’s a muscle car or a Ferrari, as long as it’s fast, sexy, and has two doors, I’m happy.
Of course, this puts me at odds with pretty much everybody on the green bandwagon, because of course if I’m not driving a Prius with hemp seat covers, I’m a bad person.
Now, let’s think about this for a moment. One person’s contribution to cleaning up the environment means absolutely squat in the big picture. I don’t care if you pick up every gum wrapper you see, plant a tree every five minutes, and ride your bicycle two hundred miles per day. In the long run, your contribution to the big picture means about as much as a single grain of sand’s contribution to the Sahara Desert. In his book Tales of a Shaman’s Apprentice, Mark Plotkin claims that if we don’t actively participate in environmental conservation, “our children and grandchildren will inherit a world infinitely less diverse biologically and culturally than the one into which we were born.”
But what does that mean for people who will not have children and grandchildren? Absolutely nothing.
The entire green movement focuses on making thing s better for the next generation. Essentially, I see it as an example of procrastination on a macro scale; keep putting the ability to truly enjoy life until the next generation, and nobody will ever enjoy life.
Think about it. Why should anybody without children worry about picking up somebody else’s trash for somebody else’s bratty kids? There is more than enough air and gasoline to go around until we’re all napping peacefully underground.
So why not go out and buy a nicer car?
The childfree have two advantages in terms of vehicle selection. One, they never have to look at minivans, SUVs, sedans, or anything else with more than two doors, and two, they don’t have to worry about gas mileage. Combine that with the fact that you’re saving a ton of money by not having children, and the actual gas bill for your new road-god doesn’t seem all that bad either.
So, while I’m probably burning a lot of bridges with the eco-friendly soccer moms out there, I’m willing to take that risk. This is a call to action for anybody who doesn’t feel like riding the bandwagon, whether you have/want kids or not. You don’t have to go around burning trees or popping tires on hybrids.
Just buy a nicer car, and enjoy it. That’s it. Don't think about the environment. For once, do something totally selfish, and I guarantee that you’ll see life in a new light.

Antonio Troy wants your mail. Even hate mail. thebabyhater@gmail.com.
P.S. Still working on the RSS feed and the forum... but it will happen. I'm also going to be posting more frequently... I'm shooting for weekly. Thanks to all the loyal readers! |